How To Protect Yourself Online: Divorce and Social Media

When spouses have come to the conclusion that their marriage just isn’t worth saving anymore, their only option may be divorce. Unfortunately, it’s all too common for the situation between two people once very much in love who vowed to share their lives to become ugly. However, even if there seems to be an amicable split, social media use is something that can lead to problems. It’s important to be wise about websites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and others during an Orlando divorce.

Avoid Posting Certain Things During a Divorce

Of course, there are always hurt feelings and feelings of resentment when people are going through a divorce. It may be one’s first instinct to simply vent away on social media about how they truly feel and to trash their ex, but this can land a person in hot water. In general, nobody wants to post their entire life on their Facebook page, but it can result in big trouble once they appear in the family law court for an Orlando divorce.

If the couple has children, especially if they are minors, it’s important they take care regarding what they post. Posting stories and images that boast a newly single status, such as bar-hopping or partying, can result in the individual being perceived as an unfit parent. That can lead to a custody battle with their former spouse during the divorce proceedings.

An Orlando divorce attorney would also advise against sharing stories and photos of new, extravagant purchases the individual has made during this time. It is advised they refrain from posting images of a brand new car, home or vacation. Even if the person mentions buying that brand new $1,000 iPhone, it can be poorly perceived as splurging and bragging about it on social media.

Additionally, if the person has a new love interest, they will naturally want to post pictures of them. If they do that, it’s important they ensure to keep the pictures private. However, it’s equally important to keep in mind that if they share mutual friends with their former spouse on the social media platform, it’s possible for those people to talk. Another option is to wait until the divorce is final before posting such pictures. A family law attorney representing the individual’s spouse might misconstrue things and paint the person in an adulterous light during the divorce proceedings.

Other Risks to Keep in Mind

If the person is like many people, they might have even shared your online and other passwords with their spouse. This is very common and can show a significant other that there is a wholehearted amount of trust. However, if a marriage is ending in divorce, it can make for a sticky situation. A person’s ex can log into their social media and other accounts when they don’t want them to. While people are going through an Orlando divorce, it can lead to a number of problems as there is plenty of anger and hurt feelings. If a former spouse changes a password, it can really wreak havoc. Once the couple is officially going through with dissolving their marriage, it’s wise should change all passwords. It might be a pain, but it’s for safety’s sake.

Family law can be a complex and emotional subject. If you have any concerns or questions about your social media usage during the course of your divorce, the best thing to do is speak with your Orlando divorce attorney. A family law attorney can provide you with essential guidance about how you should conduct yourself both online and in person to make your divorce as smooth as possible.

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Modifying A Parenting Plan, What Do You Need To Do

When divorce happens in a family with children, it is essential to promptly handle the matter of legal custody. In most cases, a family law attorney needs to be involved in this process. The divorced couple is then tasked with modifying the parenting plan.

Disagreement Between The Ex-Spouses/Parents

Oftentimes, one ex-spouse is fighting the other for sole custody. However, a judge may decide that shared custody is better for the child or children involved. They will approve or disapprove the proposed parenting plan presented to them. If ex-spouses later become interested in a modifying parenting plan, they must adhere to the judge’s decision.

How To Modify A Parenting Plan

There are several steps that need to be taken in modifying a parenting plan. General steps that everyone must follow are filing paperwork for the modifying parenting plan and explaining and documenting any relevant changes. Once the proper paperwork has been submitted, the modification hearing can begin.

Modification Hearing

Altering a custody arrangement involves participating in a hearing. During this hearing, parents must prove to the judge that their life has changed somehow or their child’s has.

The larger the lifestyle changes are, the more involved the modification becomes. A custody arrangement can only be altered due to life changes if certain factors are relevant. This includes the safety of the child’s home environment, a new family situation and a new work schedule for either or both parents.

Documentation must be shown by a family law attorney to a judge in order to change a custody arrangement. For example, some parents will present a custody journal. This would be a written record of any problems arising with the current custody arrangement. One parent can have the arrangement changed if they can prove the other one is unfit. Having a family law attorney is important when this needs to be proved in court.

It is important for both parents to remember that the modifying parenting plan must reflect what is best for the child or children in question. Sometimes this means child support is increased if one parent is struggling to support the child financially.

Ex-Spouses/Parents Working Together

Ex-spouses that can reach a compromise peacefully can draft a parenting plan on their own. As long as the plan is filed in a court of law, it is generally approved by the judge. Those that can compromise often agree to shared custody.

For parents that want to compromise but are struggling to do so, a family counselor can provide assistance. He or she will help create a parenting plan that both parties are comfortable with, avoiding modifying parenting plan.

Conclusion

No matter what the circumstances are, the outcome of a parenting plan should always be positive. An effective family law attorney will fight for child support along with anything else essential to the agreement. Child support can be changed by a judge, making a family law attorney necessary. All involved parties working to reach a common goal will have to put the child’s needs first.

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9 Rules You Need To Make Joint Custody Work

Child custody and child support issues are often singularly looked at as a legal issue. While the legalities are important and an Orlando divorce attorney will play a major role in the divorce’s terms, there are also some things parents should be doing on their own to make child custody work for both parents and children. From sharing holiday time, drop-offs and pickups, and coordinating schedules, it can be a lot for parents in a shared custody arrangement, especially when the two likely didn’t have much to agree on and common ground when married.

Experts Say Cooperation Is Key To Joint Custody Arrangements 

Author of “Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies to Help Children Thrive Through Divorce” JoAnne Pedro-Carroll says that studies have shown mutual cooperation, agreement on terms, respect, and proper emotional management are key factors to custody arrangements working out well. Ensuring these qualities are present makes it easier for children and parents alike to adjust to the family unit changes associated with Orlando divorce. How can parents help make sure these factors are present in joint custody? Check out these nine rules.

Nine Rules To Make Joint Custody Work

1. If There’s Nothing Nice To Say, Then Keep Your Mouth Closed

Divorce and child support arrangements can be bitter and full of resentment, but don’t speak poorly about the ex in front of nor to the children. Children are made up of both parents, and hearing negatives can be internalized by the child and transferred into parent-child relationships in ways that have everything to do with the ex as a spouse and nothing to do with them as a human being or parent. Plus, the child, as part of that ex, may feel like the degrading remarks extend to them as well. Remember, while parents may not love each other any longer, the resulting children will always love both. Justified or not, keep negative remarks away from children’s impressionable minds.

2. It’s 100% About The Children

While the Orlando divorce was about two spouses calling it quits, the child support and child custody aspects are all about the children. MensFamilyLaw.com attorney and author of “ A Man’s Guide To Child Custody” David Pisarra points out that divorce can cause a tunnel vision on personal hurts and wrongs that often blinds divorcing parents to the greater good of the children in joint custody. Time with a child is a gift, not a prize, and that gift isn’t in the form of a parent getting equality or exactly what they want. Shared custody is setting egos and wants aside to value what’s best for the child above all else.

3. Be Realistic

Whether it’s insecurity, retribution, or greediness, many parents make unrealistic custody grabs that their schedules and commitments can’t possibly accommodate. Los Angeles divorce attorney and author of “It Doesn’t Have to Be That Way” Laura Wasser suggests to take emotions out of the custody equation and look at the scheduling and commitment facts alone, much as a business transaction would transpire.

4. Factor The Child’s Needs In Making The Custody Arrangement

Consider the following:

• Child’s school, extracurricular, health, and other scheduling needs.
• Child’s age and personality.
• Child care arrangements.
• Travel distance between homes and daily child-related obligations.

When it comes to age, infants are generally primarily with the mother. Toddlers and up usually have an alternating custody plan. Most mental health practitioners recommend the frequent transitions of a 2-2-3 plan for younger children and a more flexible 2-2-5 arrangement or alternate week plan for older children. Here’s how those usually work:

• 2-2-3 plan

On week one, one parent will get the child Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and the other on Wednesday and Thursday. On week two, the schedule flips for the parents. It continues to alternate this way so that the child isn’t without either parent for any extended period of time.

• 2-2-5 plan

One parent get the child Monday and Tuesday and the other on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday through Sunday is alternated between the parents. This is the preferred schedule for older kids that have their own unique schedules and obligations.

• Alternate week plan

Alternates with one week with one parent and the next week with the other parent.

5. Keep The Bad Spouse Element Out Of The Equation

While the Orlando divorce attorney likely asked a plethora of questions about the ex as a spouse during the divorce, this is no longer about the ex’s spousal qualities. The focus is now on parental qualities. Being a poor spouse doesn’t equate to being a poor parent. Study after study has shown that children universally benefit from having both role models in their lives. The marriage might’ve failed, but that doesn’t mean co-parenting has to fail. Just be sure to keep emotional and personal baggage out of co-parenting.

6. Find A Way To Communicate

Communication is key to co-parenting. OurFamilyWizzard.com offers all sorts of calendars, common doc storage, message boards, and expense logs so that both parents can remain on the same page. If face-to-face communication can’t be amicable, then use the technology available to communicate agreeably, effectively, and efficiently. Miscommunications and freezes ultimately only hurt the child.

7. Balance Battles And Challenges

Of course, there will be parenting facets that aren’t always going to be a united front. Some facets will require one parenting challenging the other’s methods, but, in most cases, such conflicting parenting styles can be resolved with open, rational, and direct communication. If an agreement can’t be reached, each parent needs to ask themselves if the battle is really worth having a judge decide the outcome. Pick battles wisely and avoid trying to micromanage each other as joint custody is being tackled.

8. Give The Child A Voice

The child didn’t have a say when the Orlando divorce attorney was called. However, the child should have a heard voice when it comes to child custody. For younger children, this voice might be as simple as which PJs or toys they’ll bring back and forth. For older children, this can mean giving them a say in the custody schedule so that their life is left as undisrupted as possible by divorce. Be open and willing to listen to the child’s frustrations and confusion over custody arrangements. Also be willing to sacrifice to give the child a better sense of control over their own place in the world.

9. Review And Be Open To Adjust The Arrangement

Set up periodic review points, which are usually based on children getting older and changing schedules. Parents often find their own lives changing after divorce. Remarrying, job advancement, moves, and so forth may mean that previous agreements aren’t favorable for the child. Again, this is where communication and honesty become crucial parts of the commitment to effectively co-parent after an Orlando divorce.
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