If you’ve already started thinking about ending your marriage, there are obviously troubling issues between you and your spouse. Thoughts of leaving your husband or wife don’t come up unless something serious is going on in the marriage. People contemplate ending a marriage for many reasons. It may have been the occurrence of a singular catastrophic incident, chronic behavior or a slow burning dissatisfaction with life as a married person.
Everybody Deserves To Be Happy
You deserve to be happy, as does your spouse. No matter what else may be true about your or your spouse, or about your marriage, happiness is supposed to be part of the equation. For better or for worse was never meant to mean a long, tortuous life chained to someone who almost makes you feel like life isn’t worth living. Consider how short your life is and how big the world is. The world is filled with opportunities and chances to be happy. You shouldn’t have to pay the price of your own happiness just to avoid ending a marriage.
Could Things Get Better?
As a loyal spouse, you may be torn between divorce and staying in the marriage because things may get better. It’s important to be very honest with yourself about this. Theoretically, any marriage can get better. In reality, many marriages don’t. Some rifts between spouses are just too painful to heal. Other times, inherent differences between people make it impossible to have a peaceful coexistence. And people change over time. You might feel like you’re married to a stranger at this point. One sign of a possible improvement in the marriage include your spouse initiating meaningful conversations with you about the marital issues. Another is a willingness by both partners to go to marriage counseling. If things are looking hopeful, you might delay your final decision. Just make sure you aren’t delaying it because you’re afraid to ever make a choice.
What Will People Think?
The anticipated reactions of other people can convolute your decision-making process. If you have a close relationship with your in-laws, you may be embarrassed or afraid of what a divorce will do to that relationship. You might feel like you’ll lose friends, or that your neighbors will look down on you. The thing is, those people aren’t living your life. They don’t know what you have to put up with on a daily basis. Just as you don’t know the intimacies of anyone else’s marriage, no one else knows the intimacies of your marriage. When deciding on whether to end a marriage, it really doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters what you think and feel.
Consider the Alternative
Speculate on what would happen if you decide to stay in a dead end marriage despite being unhappy, being treated poorly or suffering abuse. A dead end marriage won’t lead to anything positive in the future. If nothing improves then things may not even stay the same; they may get worse. You will have lived your life in a dead end marriage for what? To please others, or to please some false idea of who you think others want you to be?
Ending a marriage isn’t easy. It’s not “the easy way out.” It’s the smart way out if you’ve given careful consideration to the divorce from all angles. Ending a marriage means you’ll have to forge ahead on your own. That can be a scary thought after years of marriage. Look at it this way. You were alone before and you made it alright. If you need to, you can do it again.
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