Divorce is difficult, but there are steps you can take to make it easier. Read on to learn how to have a peaceful divorce.
The divorce rate in the US is around 40% to 50% of all marriages. While you may have initially thought you found your soulmate, maybe things have changed. And despite trying to work out your differences, you’ve grown too far apart and divorce is the only logical next step.
Reaching this decision isn’t an easy one, especially if there are children involved. Your friends may have gone through messy divorces themselves, and you want to do everything you can to avoid the same fate.
If you’d like to have a peaceful divorce so you can move on with your life better, then read on. We’ve got some helpful tips on how to do so.
Don’t Place Blame on One Another
When things get bad, it can be easy to blame one another for the failure of your marriage. Maybe you think your wife hasn’t paid enough attention to you in the last few years, or maybe she thinks you’ve been too focused on growing your career.
At this point, it doesn’t do any good to point fingers at one another. Trying to pinpoint exactly what made the marriage fail will just make both of you extremely bitter, which will set the tone for a messy and ugly divorce.
Once you’ve reached a place where both of you agree 100% that you should divorce, that should be it. Don’t try to assign a reason to the divorce; just agree it’s better for the two of you if you go your separate ways.
If you leave blame out of it, then you’ll stand a much better chance of having an amicable and peaceful divorce.
Don’t Be Petty
Those who don’t feel slighted by their exes may be tempted to be petty in the divorce process. For example, maybe your ex really loves your shared car, and just to make her suffer, you want to take it in the divorce.
But by doing this, you’re just dragging out the divorce longer. Since it’s such a treasured possession of hers, she’ll most likely fight you on this, which can end up in more meetings with the lawyer and time in court.
Instead of trying to exact revenge, try and be the bigger person. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should acquiesce to everything your ex wants.
What you should do is sit down and think about the big picture. What is it you truly want and can’t compromise on? Once you figure that out, everything else will be trivial.
The two of you should come together and discuss these non-negotiable needs and see if you can work around them.
Be Honest and Open
While in the midst of a divorce, some people will try to hide their assets so they don’t get cleared out by their ex in the process. But by doing so, you may entangle yourself in much more legal messes.
We’re not saying you should be best friends with your ex while you’re getting divorced, but both of you should be able to discuss all your assets and income without hiding anything.
By doing so, you’ll be doing a “good faith negotiation” with your ex-spouse. When the two of you can openly discuss everything, this makes it a lot easier to resolve any financial issues. This is especially important if you have children with them.
If you weren’t the spouse that handled the financial side of things in the marriage, this can give you a better picture of what the two of you shared. That way, you can have better trust and keep the divorce more amicable.
Put the Needs of Your Children First
Again, while you’re separating from your spouse, it’s tempting to find any ammo against them and use it. Often, parents end up using their children as pawns in the game of divorce. While it may be temporarily satisfying, it ends up being harmful to everyone involved.
Make it clear to your ex that the welfare of your children come first. You may want to consider divorce mediation, as this lets you discuss your children’s needs with a neutral third party present.
Always use positive language when discussing issues involving your kids. Always ask for your ex’s input so they feel involved instead of pushed away by you.
How you work together during the divorce can be extremely beneficial for the future, as it lays down the groundwork for you working successfully as co-parents.
Have a Good Support System
Not only can going through a divorce on your own be lonely, but it can really take a toll on your mental health as well. If you aren’t feeling 100% emotionally, you may end up taking it out on your ex. Needless to say, that won’t end up in a peaceful divorce at all.
Make sure you have a good support system consisting of close friends and family members. When you’re alone, it can be tempting to self-medicate in unhealthy ways. The after-effects won’t be so pleasant, plus it can kickstart a downward spiral.
If you have friends and family you can rely on, you can turn to them in times of need instead of self-medicating. Sometimes, all it takes is calling someone up for a chat for you to feel better and stronger. This can leave you more clear and levelheaded to deal with your divorce.
Have a Peaceful Divorce and Get Along With Your Ex
Just because you’re going through a divorce doesn’t mean it can’t be amicable. With our guide to a peaceful divorce, hopefully, you can navigate this difficult time of your life with more ease and tranquility.
If you need a divorce lawyer to help you through this process, then get in touch with us today. Not only can we assist you with your divorce, but we can also advise you on other related subjects, such as alimony and child custody.